Giving things up becomes easy

once you’ve taken the first tricky step:

stopping sugar in tea shows the way to be free –

rest assured it’s a stroll not a schlep.


Yes your head will be clearer and cleaner

If you cut out the fags and the booze,

while a life without meat is a do-able feat

once you’re looking for what else to lose.


It’s a fact that the kicks just get greater

when you make self-denial an art

and find doing without only adds to your clout

as your new and your old self part.


Not watching TV? Not a problem!

Nor to switch off my iPad for good.

Hard-earned money’s a bore which I’ll give to the poor

as a modern-day Robin Hood.


I shall gift my guitar to a nephew,

half my clothes to the Oxfam shop –

now I’ve got myself straight I can drop any mate

who can’t see that to have is have not.


And I’m sorry to say that you’re simply

the item that’s next on my list –

oh but what’s that you say? That you feel the same way?

That a dumb jerk like me won’t be missed?


Then I’m off down the pub, to get pissed . . .





Published in Lighten Up Online Issue 45, March 2019